Yesterday I wrote about how much easier M&M have gotten....but as I was getting close to my nervous breakdown last night I had to rethink that statement. I've decided that there a few things about parenthood that I really hate more than others. As far as my kids are concerned, those things are meal times, and bedtimes.
First off, God has blessed me with 3 kids that absolutely hate to eat, they eat only for survival - which makes meal times a constant struggle. Last night, it took Khaled and I over an hour to feed two 3 year olds their dinner - all the while telling each of them every 2 seconds to sit down and open their mouth.....Noora is now 8.5 and we still have to remind her every 2 seconds to sit down and eat her food during dinner....looks like we've got a long road ahead of us.
Bedtimes....When Noora was a baby, I always stayed with her until she fell asleep. That continued when we moved her to a regular bed. By the time we wanted her to learn to go to sleep by herself, it was too late - and she was struggling with being jealous of her new brother and sister and we didn't want to to make it harder than necessary. When she was 7 we finally convinced her she was old enough to go to bed by herself - although it's still a nightly struggle. When she was a toddler, and she would wake up in the middle of the night, I would bring her to sleep next to us, just so I can get a good night's sleep. As a result, she STILL crawls into bed with us every night!
After struggling with getting M&M to sleep through the night, I made it a point of making sure they went to sleep alone so I did NOT have a repeat of Noora's bedtime rituals. Soon, their bedtimes were the easiest in history. Khaled and I would just carry them upstairs, put them in their cribs, say goodnight and close the door. It was awesome, and all our friends were jealous. Then when they were 2, we moved them to toddler beds. If I could turn back time, I would go back to the moment we made that decision and do it differently! Since that day, they will NOT stay in bed unless one of us sits outside their door until they fall asleep (bringing up bad flashbacks from all the years with Noora). In any case, bedtime is now a painful ritual. It takes at least 45 minutes for them to fall asleep while we sit outside their room saying "shhhhhhh! Namo!!!" ("go to sleep" in Arabic :)) every 90 seconds. I have delegated that responsibility to Khaled, because I just don't have the patience for it any more. When it's my turn, I will sometimes go downstairs to finish the dishes or just watch tv - as soon as they realize I'm not there, they get out of bed and crawl into bed with Noora - and all 3 start playing in bed!!
Sometimes after they had been asleep for hours, I would go up to bed and find them asleep in my bed. It seems that when they would stir in their sleep, they would get out of bed and go to my room. Even when I put them back in their beds, they would keep coming back continuously until I finally let them sleep next to me. Add that to Noora crawling in bed with us too - and there were WAY too many people in our bed, and I would end up sleeping on my side on a strip about an inch and a half wide.
So I finally decided this was not going to work. For about 2 weeks, I slept on a mattress in the hallway outside their room so that each time they got up, I'd tell them to go back to bed. After that I started sleeping in my bed again, but make sure to tell them that they can't sleep in mommy's bed before they go to sleep - "sireer mommy la'a!!" ("Mommy's bed NO!"). It's still not working completely - they still get up once or twice a night (each) - and last night Mariam woke up a couple of times, and when I was putting her in bed the 2nd time, I realized Muhammad was sleeping next to me - he had crawled into bed with me and I didn't even notice!! So I put them both in their own beds... I woke up this morning and Mariam was sleeping on the floor in my room - I guess she got up to go to the bathroom and went to sleep on the floor instead of waking me up. I felt so guilty.
Anyway, it's an ongoing struggle. At first, I couldn't tell Noora not to come sleep next to me because it was so hard for her to see M&M next to me. So now that I tell them no also, I tell her the same thing when she comes to my room at night. Makes for a really sleepless night when I have go through that with all 3 of them every night. That probably explains why Khaled has been sleeping on the sofa since this ordeal started - he has said he'll keep sleeping there until they stop getting up at night!!
